Well today I hit the culmination of frustration at work.
The minor frustration is that management feels they have to roll out something entirely new, breaking me out of an important meeting to do so. I had to step out for the 30 minute conference call (and the only reason it was 30 minutes was because I had another conference call then, a quick one for the Duty Officer change).
The big frustration was the changes brought forth during the call. Now I'm the first one to admit that there are times that change is necessary and this is one of those times. I just don't like the change they're making. When I promoted to my current work position, I was given a Position Duty Statement. I liked it. It's a great document of what I should be doing. However only parts of the document was used but those parts were fine. I wished the whole document was used but you don't always get what you wish for. And now that document has no relation to what my job is.
One of the things I love best about my job is working with my counties. It can be hard work, especially when things are hot and heavy, but its fun work and very rewarding. I feel like I'm making a difference and that I am wanted. Another thing I love about my job is mentoring people, watching them develop into great workers with a lot of knowledge. I did this even before my promotion. New people like information and, unfortunately, our internal training is lacking.
So we had someone retire in my job class and we don't know if we will be able to replace her, and if we can, it's going to take months. This means that the two of us left in the job class have to split the work two ways instead of three. Somewhere, something has to give. What management has decided to do is to have us be leads only and no longer work with a county(ies) - not that the other current lead ever had a county, it was just me and the now-retired lead with counties. They are reassigning the counties I have. And the lead work they want us to do is project management - the projects and programs that are currently the responsibility of those under us are now our responsibility. The others will still work them but we have the responsibility of making sure they do. I think of leads as mentors, providing guidance, checking up on the work, giving input both up and down the ladder but the actual responsibility for the work of others I believe is a supervisory function. Of the five people I have, four are 100 miles away and one is over 400 miles away. It's tough to get to most of their meetings, monitor them during the meetings, make sure they're doing their job correctly - to me, that's supervisory. And my job class isn't supervisory. Maybe I'm wrong, management certainly doesn't think that the work assignments given us are supervisory. At any rate, my Position Duty Statement that I signed and agreed to what my job is no longer has any relation to what my job is now.
They are rolling out the new assignments to the rest of the staff Monday afternoon. Now I have a decision to make. Do I want to demote and hope things go back to where they were before my promotion? I'm thinking that I do. And I'm thinking that it would best to make that known to management prior to Monday afternoon so that duties aren't assigned to staff (especially our new staff that started four months ago) and then reassessed or taken away.
Yes, I know I could try to fight this through the union (or rather, association). I might win. But what would that accomplish and how long would that take? And what would be the repercussions? (And believe me, this management team is really good at repercussions, in an oh-so subtle way.)
I don't like being lied to. I've caught my manager in four lies in a week. Most of them have been items that wouldn't be discussed if I demoted. Maybe demoting would give her less to lie about. My blood pressure is up, my blood sugars are up and I'm getting a lot of headaches (and those of you who know me well know that I would rarely get a headache before this, no matter what the stress, and I've always had a high stress job).
Bottom line(s): would I happy with the job as they have changed it to? No. Do I really need the $139 a month pay difference? I can work on that, I did it before the promotion.
Demotion is looking better and better...
Friday, October 22, 2010
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Keeping Up With The Phillips Kids
As some of you know, I'm the youngest of seven children. My oldest sister always said I had it the easiest, that she had to fight for all the liberties that were handed to me. Maybe so. But I had to keep up with my siblings. And on the flip side, my parents learned from the older children so the younger ones had some restrictions they didn't have. Of course I knew that there wasn't anything I could do that someone else hadn't already done.
If I had to describe my siblings when they were growing up with just a word or few, here's what pops in my head:
Pat - the trail blazer: the one who went first, fought the parental wars and sometimes pushed the limits
Genny - the good girl: did what she was told, had a lot of work but was always cheerful and kind
Andy - the steam engine: like the trail blazer times ten, highly intelligent, challenging but not challenged
Berni - the accomplished: everything Berni did was done well, especially school and music
John - the challenged: the biggest heart as a kid, but he wasn't as well equipped, was it mental or social?
Mark - the balanced: a good combination of kindness, intelligence and messing up now and then
And then there was me. I guess if I had to describe myself, I'd say I was the chaser. I was the one who was always trying to catch up to the others. Never mind that they were older, bigger and had more experience than me. I tried to be like all of them. And in some ways I've succeeded. I think I have a little bit of all of those traits in me. Fortunately they don't all come out at the some time. And then throw in some dingbattiness from my mom (not that I'll ever admit it) and some good, old, down home, country sensibility from my dad.
Of course it didn't help in my chase that I would hear from my parents the sentence, "Why can't you be (fill in the blank about something someone did better that I lacked in) like (insert name of sibling here)?" Maybe that's a natural thing for parents, I didn't like it. I learned to be my own worst critic, no one's standards for me are as high as my own standards for me. (This has gotten me in trouble at times in my life with people thinking I hold them up to the same standards I hold myself up to - I don't, they're my standards for me and no one else.)
So I want to share a story. Berni was very good in school. When I brought home straight A report cards (for half of my high school semesters), some of the grades were A-, some were As and there was one A+. I remember my father asking me why I had A-s and didn't get all As and A+s like Berni. My mom was there nodding in agreement. I was soooo disappointed. Here I thought I had a great report card, one I worked very hard for, and it wasn't good enough for them. I'll admit it, I know Berni is smarter than I. That's okay. We all have things that we're really good at. I just hadn't found mine yet but I was fairly well-rounded. (Okay so I'm still well-rounded but in more ways, including physically, but that's another story.) So, fast forward a lot of years. I'm 30 years old and I'm applying for a job and I need a copy of my high school transcripts. My mom is with me, she's retired and we were running errands. She asks to see the transcripts so I let her. She is shocked. She said that she always thought I was a bad student like my brothers and my sister Pat (bad student being defined as getting Bs and Cs). She didn't realize I had been such a good student. And I did this and played sports afterschool too. It's amazing what a few years and perspective have on things.
Well, in case anyone is wondering, I'm no longer a chaser. I'll never catch Berni and Andy in intelligence and that's okay. I'll never be the social butterfly that Pat is. I'll never do anything as well as Genny can do it. John still struggles but he has found his niche in his mechanical ability. Mark is still an all-around good guy. I don't feel like I have to compete or catch up with any of them. All of that is okay. We are all unique and marvelous in our own ways (well, mostly, kind-of). And I have found an ability I have that I doubt many of my siblings can do better. I can handle "things" that come up. You can throw "things" at me and they don't phase me. I don't freak out, point fingers or ask a lot of dumb questions; I just go to work on the issue at hand. I can think outside that box so far that I leave the boxes for the cats to play in. Sixteen years in 9-1-1 centers and ten years of emergency management have helped me hone this skill. I think this is a good thing.
If I had to describe my siblings when they were growing up with just a word or few, here's what pops in my head:
Pat - the trail blazer: the one who went first, fought the parental wars and sometimes pushed the limits
Genny - the good girl: did what she was told, had a lot of work but was always cheerful and kind
Andy - the steam engine: like the trail blazer times ten, highly intelligent, challenging but not challenged
Berni - the accomplished: everything Berni did was done well, especially school and music
John - the challenged: the biggest heart as a kid, but he wasn't as well equipped, was it mental or social?
Mark - the balanced: a good combination of kindness, intelligence and messing up now and then
And then there was me. I guess if I had to describe myself, I'd say I was the chaser. I was the one who was always trying to catch up to the others. Never mind that they were older, bigger and had more experience than me. I tried to be like all of them. And in some ways I've succeeded. I think I have a little bit of all of those traits in me. Fortunately they don't all come out at the some time. And then throw in some dingbattiness from my mom (not that I'll ever admit it) and some good, old, down home, country sensibility from my dad.
Of course it didn't help in my chase that I would hear from my parents the sentence, "Why can't you be (fill in the blank about something someone did better that I lacked in) like (insert name of sibling here)?" Maybe that's a natural thing for parents, I didn't like it. I learned to be my own worst critic, no one's standards for me are as high as my own standards for me. (This has gotten me in trouble at times in my life with people thinking I hold them up to the same standards I hold myself up to - I don't, they're my standards for me and no one else.)
So I want to share a story. Berni was very good in school. When I brought home straight A report cards (for half of my high school semesters), some of the grades were A-, some were As and there was one A+. I remember my father asking me why I had A-s and didn't get all As and A+s like Berni. My mom was there nodding in agreement. I was soooo disappointed. Here I thought I had a great report card, one I worked very hard for, and it wasn't good enough for them. I'll admit it, I know Berni is smarter than I. That's okay. We all have things that we're really good at. I just hadn't found mine yet but I was fairly well-rounded. (Okay so I'm still well-rounded but in more ways, including physically, but that's another story.) So, fast forward a lot of years. I'm 30 years old and I'm applying for a job and I need a copy of my high school transcripts. My mom is with me, she's retired and we were running errands. She asks to see the transcripts so I let her. She is shocked. She said that she always thought I was a bad student like my brothers and my sister Pat (bad student being defined as getting Bs and Cs). She didn't realize I had been such a good student. And I did this and played sports afterschool too. It's amazing what a few years and perspective have on things.
Well, in case anyone is wondering, I'm no longer a chaser. I'll never catch Berni and Andy in intelligence and that's okay. I'll never be the social butterfly that Pat is. I'll never do anything as well as Genny can do it. John still struggles but he has found his niche in his mechanical ability. Mark is still an all-around good guy. I don't feel like I have to compete or catch up with any of them. All of that is okay. We are all unique and marvelous in our own ways (well, mostly, kind-of). And I have found an ability I have that I doubt many of my siblings can do better. I can handle "things" that come up. You can throw "things" at me and they don't phase me. I don't freak out, point fingers or ask a lot of dumb questions; I just go to work on the issue at hand. I can think outside that box so far that I leave the boxes for the cats to play in. Sixteen years in 9-1-1 centers and ten years of emergency management have helped me hone this skill. I think this is a good thing.
Trouble in River City
Do you remember "The Music Man" and that there was "Trouble in River City?" Okay, so I can't really call San Diego "River City" although it's ironic that Sacramento, where I used to live, has that same nickname.
So it's 2:30 in the morning and I can't sleep. I'm stewing over a situation where I have caught someone in a series of lies. Now before anyone jumps to any conclusions, it isn't Don, we're fine, and it isn't family, which is mostly fine. My question is, why can't I deal with this like a normal person, during the awake hours? Why do I have to sit and stew on it at 2:30 AM? Is this normal?
Okay so I can't lay all of my sleeplessness at the feet of this situation. I'm on call this week and someone accidentally paged me at 11:23 PM, waking me up, when they should have held the page for morning. Mistakes happen. In this case it woke me up. Usually I'd fall right back to sleep but not this time. Now that I'm awake, I'm still stewing on this lying situation.
Confronting the person on her lies won't work. This person doesn't have the best communication skills. She hears what she wants to hear, whether that was said or not. This is actually one of her lies, that I said something I didn't. That lie is the smallest of them and if I tried to pick that battle, it would be a "she said, she said" situation that would be tough to win. I need to pick my battles and that isn't one of them. Yes, it's part of list of the lies but its number four of four of the recent lies. She also has to take control of the conversation and you're lucky to get a word in edgewise. She interrupts constantly. And when I'm talking and she interrupts me mid-sentence, then she berates me saying I interrupted her!
Bullying and controlling is this person's modus operandi. Maybe I should read some of the kids books that are out about how to deal with the school bully. This situation is one I have to live with, it's not like I can walk away from it. The liar is in a position of authority to me. This person has a long history of this behavior and has had to go to "charm school" for it, several different ones in fact.
I contacted one person who is basically in a support position to me. I asked him to call me so we could discuss it, basically outlining the issue in my email. I needed information. Well before calling me, he referred the situation up the ladder, and that's only going to cause more angst. I just wanted to find out where I stand before I went up my ladder, so to speak, over the liar's head to talk to the hierarchy. Now my hierarchy is going to hear about through the support's ladder and not from me. That isn't good. I will try to head that off at the pass tomorrow but, in some ways, that damage is done.
So I guess I have two questions for you. How do you stop a bully? And why am I obsessing about this in the wee hours? Is this normal? Okay, that's three questions but two and three are related. While I was good at math as a kid, I was always in the shadow of my smarter siblings, haha. (Having siblings who were smarter than me and siblings who struggled was actually a good experience, it kept me humbled yet centered. Maybe that's a story for another blog.)
Any input is appreciated. Thanks folks in advance!
So it's 2:30 in the morning and I can't sleep. I'm stewing over a situation where I have caught someone in a series of lies. Now before anyone jumps to any conclusions, it isn't Don, we're fine, and it isn't family, which is mostly fine. My question is, why can't I deal with this like a normal person, during the awake hours? Why do I have to sit and stew on it at 2:30 AM? Is this normal?
Okay so I can't lay all of my sleeplessness at the feet of this situation. I'm on call this week and someone accidentally paged me at 11:23 PM, waking me up, when they should have held the page for morning. Mistakes happen. In this case it woke me up. Usually I'd fall right back to sleep but not this time. Now that I'm awake, I'm still stewing on this lying situation.
Confronting the person on her lies won't work. This person doesn't have the best communication skills. She hears what she wants to hear, whether that was said or not. This is actually one of her lies, that I said something I didn't. That lie is the smallest of them and if I tried to pick that battle, it would be a "she said, she said" situation that would be tough to win. I need to pick my battles and that isn't one of them. Yes, it's part of list of the lies but its number four of four of the recent lies. She also has to take control of the conversation and you're lucky to get a word in edgewise. She interrupts constantly. And when I'm talking and she interrupts me mid-sentence, then she berates me saying I interrupted her!
Bullying and controlling is this person's modus operandi. Maybe I should read some of the kids books that are out about how to deal with the school bully. This situation is one I have to live with, it's not like I can walk away from it. The liar is in a position of authority to me. This person has a long history of this behavior and has had to go to "charm school" for it, several different ones in fact.
I contacted one person who is basically in a support position to me. I asked him to call me so we could discuss it, basically outlining the issue in my email. I needed information. Well before calling me, he referred the situation up the ladder, and that's only going to cause more angst. I just wanted to find out where I stand before I went up my ladder, so to speak, over the liar's head to talk to the hierarchy. Now my hierarchy is going to hear about through the support's ladder and not from me. That isn't good. I will try to head that off at the pass tomorrow but, in some ways, that damage is done.
So I guess I have two questions for you. How do you stop a bully? And why am I obsessing about this in the wee hours? Is this normal? Okay, that's three questions but two and three are related. While I was good at math as a kid, I was always in the shadow of my smarter siblings, haha. (Having siblings who were smarter than me and siblings who struggled was actually a good experience, it kept me humbled yet centered. Maybe that's a story for another blog.)
Any input is appreciated. Thanks folks in advance!
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Starting to Blog
This is all Berni's and Kim's fault. Berni mentioned last year that I should blog after reading some of my insomniac ramblings I called vacation emails. And Kim for inspiring me with her blog, which is marvelous (check it out at www.longwayhomeblog.com). And yes, it took me over a year to decide to do it. The credit for the name of the blog goes to Don, my ever-loving partner in life. Okay, so maybe its not their fault, I will say that the credit goes to them for my venturing forth into the blogging world.
I am one of those people who sometimes finds interest in the most mundane things. Take a pair of scissors, for example. One could discuss the meaning of life as a pair of scissors. It's called a pair of scissors for a reason - it takes two pieces to function. Not only that, but they have to be aligned properly and used correctly. I have a pair of kitchen shears that comes apart in two pieces for cleaning. If you put it together wrong, it doesn't work. If you try to use the pieces separately, it is sorely lacking in functionality. But when assembled and used as intended, it is wonderful. I'm a firm believer that life needs to lived in the correct time and place. It's only when we find that symbiosis that life is good. And if anyone is wondering, life is good.
So, why am I waterwench you ask? At the risk of sounding too "woo-woo," I love water. I swim and snorkel. I love to watch the ocean waves. When I didn't live in a city with an ocean, I was often at the river. As a kid, I loved watching the fish swim in the creek but I had no desire to take them home and capture them in a fish tank. The little tree frogs were another story, they often came home with me, stuffed in my pockets. When I set them free in our backyard, some would stick around awhile for me to play with another day. Once I came home very muddy and I got as far as the laundry room when my mom made me take off my shirt and shorts and put them in the washer. I never got further than a couple of "but moms" in our discussion. Imagine her surprise when she went to transfer the clothes to the dryer and dozens of tree frogs came jumping out at her!
We are all a product of our experiences. Its those experiences I hope to share with you in this blog. Hopefully you won't be too bored.
I am one of those people who sometimes finds interest in the most mundane things. Take a pair of scissors, for example. One could discuss the meaning of life as a pair of scissors. It's called a pair of scissors for a reason - it takes two pieces to function. Not only that, but they have to be aligned properly and used correctly. I have a pair of kitchen shears that comes apart in two pieces for cleaning. If you put it together wrong, it doesn't work. If you try to use the pieces separately, it is sorely lacking in functionality. But when assembled and used as intended, it is wonderful. I'm a firm believer that life needs to lived in the correct time and place. It's only when we find that symbiosis that life is good. And if anyone is wondering, life is good.
So, why am I waterwench you ask? At the risk of sounding too "woo-woo," I love water. I swim and snorkel. I love to watch the ocean waves. When I didn't live in a city with an ocean, I was often at the river. As a kid, I loved watching the fish swim in the creek but I had no desire to take them home and capture them in a fish tank. The little tree frogs were another story, they often came home with me, stuffed in my pockets. When I set them free in our backyard, some would stick around awhile for me to play with another day. Once I came home very muddy and I got as far as the laundry room when my mom made me take off my shirt and shorts and put them in the washer. I never got further than a couple of "but moms" in our discussion. Imagine her surprise when she went to transfer the clothes to the dryer and dozens of tree frogs came jumping out at her!
We are all a product of our experiences. Its those experiences I hope to share with you in this blog. Hopefully you won't be too bored.
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